Injury & the Heartbreak [Running]

I've been wanting to write about this running injury "adventure" for a while now. Not to whine and complain or for sympathy, I want to throw it all out there to hopefully have a positive impact. Sure, injury is fairly common for active individuals but I found myself completely unprepared for it. It's been a long journey mentally and physically, one that I hope to have grown smarter and stronger from. Maybe talking about it will not only help me continue through second part of the journey (healing and prevention), it will also help others that are dealing with or feeling similar things. Ready? Let's dive in.

Seven months ago I ran my first marathon. Don't you remember?! I certainly do...nearly every week since then I've reread my recap and walked to through the memories like it was the best day of my life or something.

A little less than a month afterwards, I had a very bad run. I left my apartment ready for an hour and a half adventure, and returned with one I hadn't expected. Much like the marathon, I think about the moments of this run too: Running down the steep hill four miles out, feeling like the shoe tongue was squeezing the top of my foot, stopping to readjust, running another few minutes and the pain intensifying, feeling like my big and second toes were being split apart like a Thanksgiving wishbone. And then I was walking...for miles. The walking turned into a limp, and ended with Garland picking me up on the side of the road in the fading fall light.

It turned out to be (just!) a mid-foot stress fracture in my second metatarsal. So why all the drama? Don't people continue to run with stress fractures? It's not the end of the world, Val!

Up until this point, I'd never had a running/sports related injury. I've never broken a bone, pulled a muscle, or even gotten stitches until last year. Maybe if I'd grown up with more severe accidents and painful experiences, this one would not have been as traumatic. But I didn't. There was a constant stream of hopeless questions and wondering playing within my head in the days, weeks, months that followed, ones I'm sure most well-seasoned athletes have long ago exhausted. Why did this happen to me? How did I not know or feel it was happening? Will I ever be the same? Why isn't it getting better? Will I ever run again? It was the "why?" that drove me insane and to tears.

It was very painful. I actually prayed that it was something more than a stress fracture so that I didn't feel so pathetic. The day after the run, I went to an ortho-on-call type place to get checked out. Irritated joints/ligaments was the doctor's initial diagnosis, which I tried to accept for a little while but it just wasn't getting less painful or easier to walk. I started to adapt by walking on the outside of my foot to avoid the pain. It was a constant discomfort; however, it was tolerable and it certainly didn't look bad from eye's view---inflamed but barely any swelling and no bruising. If it wasn't broken, what was the big deal? I stood in limbo between feeling like a baby and believing their was something worse going on beneath the surface.

I was in the best running shape of my life to date...and it was my life. In the days that followed the marathon, I continued my exercise and running routine. I took a few (like 2) days off, but I felt so great---and FAST!---that I didn't feel the need and definitely didn't want to take a break. After all, this is was now my norm, having been in training for months. I also found that not many of those that trained with me took time off, which only further encouraged me to keep going and maintain. After that fateful run, suddenly I was practically immobile (ok...an exaggeration!) and absolutely alone. I couldn't work out with my friends in the evening and if walking was painful, I certainly couldn't do anything else fitness related on my own.

It's been seven months since my stress fracture stopped me from running (and if you read the blog, you know that I'm back to running some...happy ending!). The heartbreak was absolutely most difficult part for me to get over---sometimes I wonder if I really am 100% over it. It's haunting, knowing that it could all happen again. But similar to running a race, I hope having the experience under my belt will make me more prepared and confident the next time around.

For my next running post, I'm leaning towards delving more into the emotions of the journey, then talking about the medical specifics...slowly making my way to recovery and where I am now. Want more details or have a particular question? Feel free to ask and I'll try my best to address it!